Chicken Legs

I grew up hating my legs. It was bad enough they were skinny, but worse yet were those darned boney knock-knees.
As an adult I’ve come to accept what is and learned to get on with my life! I try not to let the inferior feelings of my adolescence creep into this eccentric mind of mine.
My solution: I just cover them up so as to not draw attention to my short-comings — or is that long-goings?! Now this works well for half the year, but in the warmer weather, it’s especially bad since:
It’s hotter ‘en hades here in Phoenix, AZ USA.
You ladies out there can probably sympathize with me on this one in the summertime; you gotta start shaving those legs again!
But what the heck for? I often wonder why. Is it entirely for vanity? I should say not! I think we shave our legs so they will be silky smooth for when we… oh never mind! I’ll just look forward to my reprieve in the winter again!
I have yet to find the perfect razor; one that will remove EVERY hair on the knees. Since my knees are so boney. I have to be eSpEcIaLlY careful when I shave my legs. I’ve tried the tic, tac, toe method. I’ve gone backwards, sideways and shaved them criss/cross and STILL cannot get all of that fuzz off of my knees!
Years ago I even bought one of those TORTURE shavers; I’m sure some of you got sucked into buying one too. You know, the one with the coil on it that literally rIPpEd the hairs out in groups of ten? I was too ashamed of my purchase to take it back to the store, so I just packed it away in my razor archives along with all of the other shavers and razors that missed the mark.
I keep hanging in there, every day, religiously! You’d think by shaving EVERY day I’d manage to eventually shave the one’s I missed the day before.
Yesterday, I was in a grocery store and happened to glance down at my knees and discovered to my horror that I had simply NEVER shaved my knees before! It seems as if the hairs from my youth actually survived all of these years! How can this be? How can someone miss so many hairs day after day when shaving each and every single day?
I’ve heard the women in Europe don’t shave at all. Now thar’s a thought.
And furthermore, don’t you just hate it when you’re shaving UP your shins and the razor slips and you shave OFF the skin too? And of course, those are the type of cuts that don’t bleed right away. The absolute WORSE kind! I hate it when that happens!
I was preparing chicken legs for dinner the other day. As I was cleaning the chicken I noticed that it had the same type of “fuzzy” problem as I have on my knees! My first thought after I put my razor away was that I oughta’ just buy skinless chicken!! Why go through all this frustration?
If I can’t shave my own legs right, what makes me think I can shave the microscopic leftover feathers off a chicken’s legs?
Technorati Tags: chicken, comedy, Frustration, funny, Funny Stories, Humor, legs, razor, shavers, stories

link : http://www.lifestorywriting.com/2009/01/chicken-legs/

This is a silly story:

Sometimes the Internet just takes itself a little too seriously when in reality it is just a collection of pages with people searching for these sites. Today when most of people were watching the streaming Obama town hall meeting, our fictional character Danny was only interested in searching for stories about Valerie Bertinelli in a bikini. Danny's sister Leilani peeked in his room to see what he was up to and threw a pillow at his head.
"Why did you do that?" exclaimed a shocked Danny.
"You needed someone to knock you back in to reality because your online obsession with Valerie Bertinelli is becoming more creepy than stalkers of Dancing With The Stars," proclaimed Leilani
" My fascination with Valerie Bertinelli is classic, but Dancing With The Stars is a bore," retorted Danny.
At this juncture Leilani left his room because she absolutely loves Dances With The Stars and did not want to miss tonight's show. What is up with people who watch network TV pondered Danny. He seriously hates commercials and secretly watches Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO VOD when his parents are not home. Danny's parents do not care what he watches because he is 22, but they have encouraged him to spend his free time looking for a job and not watching TV and surfing the net.
Danny has had a singular love for Valerie Bertinelli on a YouTube clip of One Day At A Time. He feels today's women are way overdone and lack the timeless beauty of Bertinelli, and he has dreams of sewing a wedding trousseau for her when they plan their nuptials in Tahiti.
One time Leilani snuck into Danny's room and read that entry in his diary, aloud to his parents! For some reason no one in Danny's house has every respected any one's privacy, and they all feel he needs to get a job because he is slowing becoming a bum. Danny does not feel this way, but he cannot help it if his underachieving self is the butt of many jokes for his overachieving parents.
His mom and dad are both Silicon Valley types that own their own headhunting business, but unfortunately they refuse to hook him up with any contacts because they believe their own son lacks potential. Leilani is an overachieving, self-righteous teen that graduated from high school at fourteen and is slotted to graduate from college at nineteen!
Danny was a B average student that graduated with a BA in Sociology, but in this unfortunate economy he has not had much luck finding a job in his field. He tried applying everywhere, but has heard nothing back. Day after day he went to the unemployment office, but he gets really tired of hearing people talk about American Idol when they are supposed to be there looking for jobs.
Danny could care less if Kelly Clarkson was on Oprah, but apparently many people at the EDD cared quite a bit! Thus, Danny started using the computer to supposedly search for jobs, but then he became obsessed with Valerie Bertinelli. He realizes that he is sinking into an abyss, but his pretentious family is surely not helping! As far as Danny is concerned being the kid of two go getters is one of the worst jobs in America because at least he knows he can meet the expectations of his future bosses, but he will never please his guardians.
Danny started searching for a job and saw a promising lead on the Best Buy website, but then he got sidetracked by reading a blog pondering the age of Stevie Wonder and the star roles of Angela Lansbury. Danny panics and realizes he needs to get back on track, but wakes up to realize this is all a bad dream. He still needs to find a job soon, but he promises to never look at the hot google search trends before going to bed.

link :http://hubpages.com/hub/Silly-Story-About-Hot-Trends